Unforgiveness: powerful and destructive!

9:00 PM



Today’s reading: Colossians 3:1-25

As a new Christian I was aware of the importance of forgiveness, for I was forgiven at what HIGH cost!
When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh (worldliness, manner of life), God made you alive together with Christ, having [freely] forgiven us all our sins, 14 having canceled out the [a]certificate of debt consisting of [b]legal demands [which were in force] against us and which were hostile to us. And this certificate He has set aside and completely removed by nailing it to the cross.” Colossians 2:13-14 (AMP)

I knew this by heart and I thought I would always be a “nice and forgiving” Christian, until our Heavenly Father brought deep conviction to my heart on this subject: I was to call my father again, like in the old days when I was younger and had a tender and forgiving heart. But something was holding me back. I was lying to myself, trying to cover the sin of “unforgiveness”, as I excused myself for all the pain that he had caused me “the last time”. Something so subtle, but that through the years became so powerful and destructive! Little by little I became bitter, arrogant and a hypocrite! Yes, when we refuse to forgive those who have wronged us, we ironically and powerfully hurt ourselves too!
“But now rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, malice, slander, and obscene (abusive, filthy, vulgar) language from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, for you have stripped off the old self with its evil practices, 10 and have put on the new [spiritual] self who is being continually renewed in true knowledge in the image of Him who created the new self— (Col. 3: 8-10)

“Me bitter? But Lord people always tell me how nice it is to be around me! I’m always positive and encouraging, am I not?” (Heb.12:14)  
Finally, our Heavenly Father in His amazing Grace gave me the final opportunity: I flew home to visit mother, and on my last day in town I called my father asking to see him. I could tell over the phone he was excited to see me again. I was going to have lunch with a friend of mine and I asked him to join us! We had a wonderful time, remembering old times, and we even took a picture of us together! Later, that afternoon I confessed to my friend the reason I had delayed this encounter with my father. It was so freeing to confess to her and My Heavenly Father that I had been living in bitter unforgiveness for so many years! O what precious time I had wasted!
Paul reminds us how we are to live:
So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper]; 13 bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive. 14 Beyond all these things put on and wrap yourselves in [unselfish] love, which is the perfect bond of unity [for everything is bound together in agreement when each one seeks the best for others]. 15 Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise].” (Col. 3:12-15)

The lack of forgiveness can be devastating to our souls; it is a very serious matter:
“Our relationship with our fellows and our relationship with God are so linked that we cannot disturb one without disturbing the other. Everything that comes between us and another, such as impatience, resentment or envy, comes between us and God. These barriers are sometimes no more than veils - veils through which we can still, to some extent, see. But if not removed immediately, they thicken into blankets and then into brick walls, and we are shut off from both God and our fellows, shut in to ourselves. It is clear why these two relationships should be so linked. "God is love," that is, love for others, and the moment we fail in love towards another, we put ourselves out of fellowship with God - for God loves him, even if we don't. But more than that, the effect of such sins is always to make us "walk in darkness" - that is, to cover it up and hide what we really are or what we are really feeling.” (The Calvary Road- Roy Hession)

A few months later I found out my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Our Heavenly Father granted me the privilege to lead him to Jesus, His only and sufficient Savior. For the last months I would pray for my father over the phone and even had the opportunity to see him in the hospital before he was taken Home.

Unforgiveness is powerful, but there is greater power in extending forgiveness: it will not only heal a relationship, but it will also bring healing to you and the other person!

Our Heavenly Father is Faithful! He is only waiting for you to take that first step: confess your lack of forgiveness and ask Jesus, the ultimate forgiver, to empower you, remembering that he has forgiven you.

Blessings my sisters!

Mari



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