For some reason, when I think about the woman described in Proverbs 31, I think about my grandmother. Now, she differs greatly from this woman who was described as a wife, attending to her household full of people. By the time I came into my grandmother’s life, her husband had passed away and her children were grown and she lived alone with a very meager income. And yet, to me she embodied a passion for life, for people and for God that enriched my heart and established a deep sense of awe and wonder. She was always busy and yet she balanced that with engaging time spent with her grandchildren and the many children she taught in kindergarten and Sunday School. Her love and passion for God was known by all who met her. Even as her body wasted away from cancer in her early 60s,she flourished in His love, peace, and wisdom. Even at her weakest, she was strong. 

In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel is passing on words of wisdom from his mother. She desired for him to be careful about choosing the right woman to marry because she knew that he needed a woman who would be a home builder and not a home breaker. Yes, the woman is described by her feats and accomplishments but that is not the emphasis. The emphasis is the source of her strength and accomplishments. As we look through the Scriptures we can catch glimpses of this type of woman who draws her strength from God and flourishes like a tree.

“But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever.”  Psalm‬ ‭52:8‬ ‭

Just like the Proverbs 31 woman, women like my grandmother are a blessing to their husbands and those they graciously serve. “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”  Proverbs‬ ‭31:10-12‬ . 

These women nourish the souls entrusted to them and their spiritual growth is like a living, breathing pulse that energizes and encourages those around them. “Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.”  Psalm‬ ‭128:1-4 

Even as they age, there is a distinctive strength of character and steadfastness because they are rooted in Christ.  “The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.”  Psalm‬ ‭92:12-15

‭‭My grandmother was a woman I admired and I longed to emulate her as I established my own family, but when she passed away, I was 18 and I foolishly abandoned my trust in God. I busied myself with trying to be successful in my own efforts. It was no wonder that my household began to fall apart. I was trying to build it on my own efforts. But, God reminded me that my grandmother’s life was rich and  purposeful in spite of her circumstances because she was rooted in Him. When I sincerely surrendered to letting God be the source of my strength, knowledge, and love, He began to build and establish my household. I had to learn that all of my busyness and people pleasing pursuits of perfection were in vain. The Proverbs 31 woman trusted in the promises of God and let Him establish the success of her home and the security of her household. “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.”  Psalm‬ ‭127:1-2‬ ‭

None of us can be like the woman described in Proverbs 31 by our own efforts. It’s not what we do or don’t do but who we are rooted in that makes the difference. God promises to help us, teach us, mold and shape us. He promises to be the source of our strength no matter our circumstances.