- After I gave birth to our premature twins I began to suffer from an auto-immune illness which made my hands suffer from a burning pain, itch, break into open sores, etc., because of the great inflammation that would prevail, even though I had gone through all kinds of medical treatments, I would not heal. This went on for almost 15 years.

- Almost as soon as we married, my husband went astray - for about 20 years-

I suffered from these two situations practically at the same time, and in all those years there were moments that I would cry out to the Lord just like the Psalmist did:

^{“ 17} All this has happened though we have not forgotten you. We have not violated your covenant. ¹⁸ Our hearts have not deserted you.  We have not strayed from your path.
¹⁹ Yet you have crushed us in the jackal’s desert home. You have covered us with darkness and death. ²⁰ If we had forgotten the name of our God or spread our hands in prayer to foreign gods…” (v.17-19)

Yes, I had committed my life to Jesus and all that I had:  my marriage and family, and as I laid them all on the altar, I would continually seek Him, fast and pray… why was I suffering all this? Why if my husband was the one who had walked away from His Paths, I was the one suffering from this illness, and had to undergo other medical surgeries and treatments? There were times when I thought:” Why is God doing this to me?”

I love this quote from Elizabeth Elliot:

 “Why is God doing this to me? When I am tempted to ask that question, it loses its power when I remember that this Lord, into whose strong hands I long ago committed my life, is engineering a universe of unimaginable proportions and complexity… yet He makes note of the smallest seed and the tiniest sparrow. He is not too busy to keep records of even my falling hair. Yet in our darkness we suppose that He has overlooked us. He hasn’t.” (Keep A Quiet Heart)

Then I would fall on my knees and would humbly ask forgiveness for doubting in my heart, and I would seek Him in prayer and fasting, and He would remind me of all His mighty deeds in the past for me and my loved ones (vs.4-8):

“Now, my dear friends, this morning I intend to recall to your minds some of the wondrous things which God has done in the olden time. My aim and object will be to excite your minds to seek after the like; that looking back upon what God has done, you may be induced to look forward with the eye of expectation, hoping that he will again stretch forth his potent hand and his holy arm, and repeat those mighty acts he performed in ancient days.” (C.H: Spurgeon)

Yes, only by His Amazing Grace and strength we had overcome in the past, and I knew in my heart He would do it again, in His time!

He would lead me to several scriptures (I went through the book of Job, many times), that would give me comfort, peace and the faith I needed to wait upon His Timing and the fulfillment of His Purpose in all this:

"Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT)

^“Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. ¹³ Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. ¹⁹ For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. “… ²³ And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering.” “³⁷ No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” Romans 8:18,19, 23, 37)

I could mention many more scriptures, which would mean many pages of ALL His wonderful Promises that kept me going through all those years!

-I would like to ask you, have you experienced something similar to what this psalmist experienced?

-Are you or your family recently in a season of hard times, even though in past times God has been gracious to you and yours?

-Which scriptures are the ones that kept you standing firm on your faith and hope?

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father: Thank you for your Word and Promises that speak to our hearts assuring us that You do not hide your face from us, and do not forget our afflictions! That You do not sleep nor slumber, but You Lord are our shade at our right hand. Thank you for You do not reject Your people, but have promised to not leave us nor forsake us. May we be in joyful expectation as You continue Your work in us, and Your mighty wonders among us, as we rest in the fact that nothing can separate us from Your love in Christ Jesus! Amen.

Blessings,

Mari