I want to share some bitter sweet memories from my life that in a way makes me feel identified with Rebekah the wife of Isaac. We could divide Rebekah’s story and mine in two:  

The first piece of the story was of a young bride-to-be who was confident and trusting that God had orchestrated a marvelous wedding with the perfect “prince”, and they would live happily ever after!

As for Rebekah, we have no idea how it all went during their first years… but for me it was quite difficult, because as a newlywed I discovered my husband had a very bad temper and was very controlling, plus he became a spiritual prodigal. I have already shared my testimony of how difficult this was for me and our children (our twin girls and a son). The Lord strengthened us through prayers and fasting until after almost 20 years of marriage our Lord literally opened the eyes of my husband’s heart and he decided to follow Jesus and we began to serve our God in our Church and community! 

The second part of the story:

While raising our kids I gave them back to our God. I only asked of Him to help me guide them to Him and that they would be consecrated to serve Him! I knew deep in my heart that He would eventually take them overseas or some other place to fulfill His purpose in their lives.

One day, while twin A had been away from home studying in another state, she called us telling us she had a male Christian friend from another country and that they had been writing emails to each other for a long time AND he was considering coming to visit her, my husband became angry and said “NO!”, and reminded her that he had always warned her how dangerous this could be, and felt she should stop this friendship right away! She objected and asked him to please receive this young man, but he refused, and accused her of being disobedient.

A few months later my other daughter, Twin B, who was still at home with us and also about to graduate from College like her twin sister, told me in confidence that she was in the same situation as her sister; she was also friends through the internet with a Christian man who happened to be in the Seminary and was about to graduate as a Pastor!  She was afraid she would get her father angry and disappointed with her if we told him, so WE kept the secret from my husband!

Let me tell you, I had never in my married life ever hidden anything from him! My children knew that if I knew what they had done daddy would know it by me, so they had to be courageous and go ahead and tell him they were sorry and accept the consequences.

BUT this time I fell into the trap that was set before me! 

I began to find all kind of excuses for keeping that secret… that LIE

If my husband would not be so bad tempered… if he would just listen to the girl’s without judging their friends and their relationship…you name it!

Finally, I let my two beloved elderly sisters in Christ- whom I considered my mentors- know what the girls and I were going through so we would all pray for my husband and for the future husbands of “my girls”.  And guess what happened? They did!! They would also keep our secret and pray with us!

This went on for a year or so! But over time my husband began treating us all badly! He was always angry and in a bad mood, but I continued praying for him, for a “change in his heart”, etc., believing God would fulfill His plans and purpose in the life of my twins no matter what!

O my, how blind and arrogant I was becoming! 

Throughout this time we continued to have our prayer and fellowship groups at home, until one day, as one of these elderly sisters prayed for me she said: “The Lord has showed me you have to ask forgiveness to someone you are subject to”. I asked, “You mean someone who has authority over me? Like my father or my husband…? “She said yes. Well I thought for a moment and decided I had already forgiven my father! I was “clean”, I had no remorse of any kind whatsoever!! And I dismissed my sister´s advice.

Later on while in our prayer and fellowship group I had a vision:  I saw a lion, not roaring, but walking calmly towards me and then he took a last step and I saw his big and strong paw!

But even though I was not intimidated I remembered the scripture in 1 Peter 5:8 –

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”. I knew this verse by heart, so I did not look it up, nor read the whole chapter, but in my pride and selfishness I decided this was probably the Lion of Judah!  Imagine!! 

I continued with the excuses… I was ok, our secret was with a cause, and I would let my husband know when I decided it was best!

A few days later, I had to drive my son to school, he was about to graduate from 6th grade and they were rehearsing their graduation ceremony. Twin B was at home and she asked if she could get a ride to her University, and I said: “Yes”. I was burdened with my own thoughts and still angry with my husband because the night before he snapped at me for “nothing”, as “usual”.  I told my son we had to leave and we both forgot we were going to take Twin B to school, also. She had gone upstairs to get something, and we took off locking her in the house. I felt restless and a bit nervous and as I drove away from home, I simply prayed: “Father, our lives are in your Hands!”.  All of a sudden we were hit by a speeding driver who made our car spin around. He hit our van on my side, right in the middle, just a few inches away from the driver’s seat. Only by the Grace and Mercy of our Lord I am still alive and walking! But IF our daughter would have ridden with us, the consequences of this car wreck would have been catastrophic, since my son would always sit in the back seat… right where the van was hit! I praise our God my son came out of the accident with only a few bruises!! Our van was total loss! Our Heavenly Father delivered us all three from the worst outcome from this accident! Only He could have done it! He lavished upon us “Grace upon Grace”!!

For two months I was bedridden at home, and I had plenty of time to realize and repent from my sin: I had been unfaithful to my husband and to my Lord And Savior, and I had given satan the opportunity to come to my home to “ steal, kill and destroy” my family, my marriage and my own life!

When we walk by our own truths we become arrogant… if I had only back then read these previous verses in 1 Peter 5: 5-7:

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

Humble yourselves therefore under God’s mighty hand that He may lift you in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”

Just like Rebekah I had to pay the price… but by His loving kindness AND Abounding Grace I was forgiven, and given a new opportunity to serve Him with a fearful and humble heart!

He is Faithful! 

Mari Salinas