Great Women Aren’t Born – They’re Made... {Proverbs 14}

A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1

Great women aren’t born – they’re made, and a great woman must choose to work at becoming great.

A wise woman will set the right priorities for her life; she will seek to gain wisdom, be disciplined and seek to have her family and home prosper. BUT the foolish woman is rebellious, preoccupied, and yes, even lazy and her family and home will fall into ruin during her lifetime and for generations to come.

Have I got your attention? Good, for this is serious girls!

Proverbs 14:1 packs a powerful punch! Here, we’re offered both encouragement and a warning not to be overlooked. We have an incredible opportunity to build up our family and home that will not only honor God, but may benefit others in the future. It is our choice to be wise and build or foolishly tear down what God has started. In this one verse you can see the battle lines being drawn and we as women must decide which side we will be on.

But hold on, we also know our enemy is very cunning and crafty! He will do his utmost to make it appear that we’re on the right side, when in truth we’re on the wrong. He can make it appear right until it’s too late to turn back. So how can we know for sure which side is the right side? What should it look like …exactly?

I grew up in the era when women were burning their bras and choosing to have a career over marriage and family. We were being told we could have it all, and still today, thousands of women are marching with pink pointed hats on their heads, but how can we be sure their cause is right, for this chapter also warns us, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but in the end leads to death.” (14:12)? The consequences are too great, therefore we have GOT to be certain that the path we’re on is the right path and we haven’t deviated from it in any way!  

I’ve come up with a few ways of discerning which path we’re on, but I’m sure there are more and should you think of others, I hope you’ll share them with us.

A Wise Woman:

1.      Fears the Lord.  God’s Word is pretty clear that this is the place to begin our quest for wisdom, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Proverbs 1:7) Matthew 4:4 also tells us, “[Wo]man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” She knows charm is deceptive and outward beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears God will be the one gaining the praise! (Pr. 31:30) We’re on the right path when our thoughts, words, actions and advice are based on the God’s Word and not ours or others orpinion.

2.       Possesses a teachable spirit.  “Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not.” (Proverbs 8:33)  “Give instruction to a wise [wo]man, and [s]he will be yet wiser: teach a just [wo]man, and [s]he will increase in learning.” (Proverbs 9:9)  A wise woman is constantly taking in Biblical knowledge and applying it to her life. She is also focused on gently teaching others through both sharing the Word and through her action; “She speaks with wisdom, and kindness and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26)

3.      Plans ahead.  “She carefully watches over the affairs of her household, and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness.” (Proverbs 31:27). “[S]he that gathers in summer is a wise: but [s]he that sleeps in harvest causes shame.” (Proverbs 10:5)  Several other verses in Proverbs 31 describe the virtuous woman as one who is organized and prepared.

4. Maintains a calm and quietness of spirit. “Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:4) She isn’t frantically wringing her hands when unforeseen things occur, but knows The Lord has it all under control. As a godly woman she has an inner peace of the Holy Spirit to comfort, guide, and teach her when things seems out of control, for she has learn to lay her concerns at the foot of the cross and leave them there.
5. Is relentless in prayer, for she, “prays continually.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) The Lord needs women who fervently grab hold of Jesus just like the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15:21-28 and refuse to let circumstances dictate the final outcome over faith. She will never give up praying for the hardest hearts, the deepest needs, and waits with great anticipation to rejoice over seeing her prayers answered!
6. Confess her faults, “I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin.” -Psalm 38:18. She is careful to resist the devil and draw nearer to God; cleansing her hands and striving to purify her heart, humbling herself before God that He and only He will lift her up! (James. 4:7-10) She understands that she is forgiven and is quick to confess her sins to God on a regular basis, to keep her humble and tender towards others who fall into sin.
7. Forgives as easily as she has been forgiven. “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13) She knows her forgiveness must be unconditionally given to others as she was unconditionally forgiven by God. She must choose to forgive in spite of her feeling, knowing it won’t always be easy, but trusting God to heal all her hurts in His perfect timing.
8. Is generous to others. “She opens her arms to the poor, and extends her hands to the needy.” (Proverbs 31:20) and “You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion…” (2 Corinthians 9:11). With the help of the Holy Spirit, she keeps in tune to the needs of others. She will give of her time, energy, gifts, and finances in days of feasting or even famine. She has learned it’s more blessed to give than receive and resists the fear of holding back because of her strong confidence in God to meet her family’s needs according to His riches in glory. She leans only on the Lord’s directives.
9. She prays God will set a guard over her mouth (Psalm 141:3) so that the words that she speaks to other will always be true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable—for she wants all she says to be worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8) in order to encourage and build up her family and others. (1Thessalonians 5:11)
10. Finally she prays that she will do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility she will consider others (and their needs) more important than herself. (Philippians 2:3). She understands she is a bond-servant of the Lord Jesus Christ, who has no rights apart from Him. She prays she is wholly surrendered each moment of each day, so that He is free to love others through her.

We may not score a perfect 10 in all the above every day or hour. We will all fall short at times, for these are goals that can’t be done in our own strength alone. Our first step is trusting in God’s Spirit to come in and take over each day, step-by-step, and then we’ll begin to see and sense a deeper maturity in Christ, and our family will be blessed because of it.