We all have a natural tendency to do it….we compare. We compare ourselves to others and we decide how we measure up…are we inferior, equal to, or are we superior? The problem is that we use human standards and the opinion of others to determine our worth and our value. And we often chase after an unobtainable objective….the acceptance and admiration of others. We clamor for the spotlight and we strive to come out on top. Leah and Rachel were no exception.
“Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel… Genesis 29:16-18
…and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah…Genesis 29:30
The stage is set…Rachel at this point has the spotlight. She is considered beautiful in the eyes of Jacob and desired. But, she isn’t the total package. In a society that valued fertility and the ability to pass on the family bloodline, Leah will get the upper hand. Leah hopes this will put her in the spotlight to be loved and desired.
“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”” Genesis 29:31-32
She thought: If only I had the love of my husband, my life would be complete.
You would think that the beautiful and desired Rachel would have been fulfilled and content in her position of favorite wife, but the love of her husband was not enough to fulfill her sense of identity. Being barren, she didn’t meet the standard of the culture and society she lived in and she envied seeing Leah in the that spotlight.
“When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”” Genesis 30:1
She thought, if only I had children, then my life would be complete.
Comparison is a dangerous tool of the devil, from which envy, jealousy, depression, anxiety, etc often form a bitter root. It causes us to focus on how we measure up to earthly standards and to each other instead of the intrinsic value and worth that we are given by our Creator. God wants us to be wiser than that and reap the blessings that come from selfless love and humility.
“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” James 3:13-18
Rachel and Leah kept looking for value, worth and a sense of being complete. Where they failed, was in seeking the spotlight of human approval and validation which can never be enough. They were caught in the trap of being a “ people pleaser” instead of being free to be the authentic person that God desired them to be. Envy poisoned their perspectives and their ability to love each other. Instead of wishing goodwill towards the other, they were always trying to compete for favor and recognition. This is in stark contrast to the love of Christ.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4
Only in God can we find our true value and fulfillment. Only through Christ can we find unconditional love and acceptance. Only by getting over our sinful desire to compare and have the spotlight shining on our lives and circumstances can we truly love others with Christlike love.
Remember: We can not be all things to all people and we were never meant to be. We can not find happiness or peace in the gratitude or acceptance of others. We can not find completeness in the circumstances of life. Our fulfillment and intrinsic value comes from our Creator who works through us in spite of our imperfections. He is the One who should always have the spotlight. He is the One who promised us the righteous completion of being in Christ.
“Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”” 1 Corinthians 1:26-31
Reflection:
- Do you believe life is a stage you have to perform on?
- Do your attitudes put the spotlight on yourself or God?
- Do you know the purpose of your life and your intrinsic worth?
- Does envy keep you from having Christlike love?