Pages

Monday, May 25, 2020

Forgiveness {Mark 11}





My study bible says, “Forgiving others is tough work – so much so that many people would do anything totally distasteful than offer forgiveness to someone who has wronged them.  For a person to pray while bearing a grudge, however, is like a tree sprouting leaves and bearing no fruit.”

 According to psychology, here are some reasons why forgiveness is so difficult.  One reason is because we can hold onto memories longer.  We think about the past and hold onto what caused us the hurt.

Another reason is there is too much anger that causes a lack of self-control.  Our emotions can be so strong and blinding that forgiveness is the last thing on our mind.  But often, we may choose to be angry about a situation because it feels right to us.  It gives us a false sense of empowerment.

We may be too scared to forgive in fear of getting hurt again.  This defense mechanism is developed over time to protect us from getting hurt again.

We may believe that the person who offended us deserves punishment.  Interestingly, when we hold a grudge against someone, it may be our attempt to punish them and how we gain a sense of self-control and power over being hurt.  But sometimes that punishment can be unresponsive and ineffective if the person is not aware that they have offended you.  In reality, you may be carrying the heavy burden of a grudge while the other person is moving on with their life.

And lastly, you may find it difficult to forgive someone if they never made you feel understood or heard.  So, it is easier to justify your decision to hold onto that resentment.  After all, why should you forgive the other person when they did not treat you well, right?  But this only causes the both of you build your walls higher.

As we read Mark 11, it is no surprise that this passage on forgiveness ends with the story of Jesus calling out the people in the temple on having the appearance of godliness, but having no fruit or substance of a relationship with God.

Jesus finishes this section with a reminder of what the fruit of godliness looks like.  It is not just outward actions, but an inward heart change.  Specifically, Jesus tells us that a true disciple of His will forgive others.


Jesus pulls no punches in this verse.  He starts out by saying that forgiving others is so important that you should even pause your prayer to do so.

Has someone ever come to mind while you are praying, and you wonder why?  Well, Jesus goes as far to say that, “…forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

What does Jesus mean by saying that?  We see throughout scripture that God was the first to act on our need for forgiveness and salvation, and that He did so despite all we did and who we once were.  God saved us when we were still enemies (Romans 5:10).  We only love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).  And if this doesn’t help to humble us, none of us were even seeking God to begin with (Romans 3:11).  What does that mean that God will not forgive us if we do not forgive others?

Turn to Matthew 18:21-35 to read the parable about the man who owed an excessively big debt and his lender forgave him that debt.  Shortly after, this man refuses to forgive someone else’s much smaller debt and threatens him with his life.  The previous lender finds out about how awful this man treated the other and renounces his forgiven debt consequently for treating the other man so poorly. 

What we learn from this parable is that God takes our life change very seriously.  We are not saved by our works, and God’s grace and forgiveness is purposed to bring about a change heart.

God’s plan is to save us from the punishment for our sins (Romans 6:23), to give us a new hearts (Ezekiel 36:26), to fill us with new motives (1 Corinthians 10:31), and new empowerment (1 Timothy 1:7) to live a new life that he has called us to (Titus 2:11-14).

Here the kicker – this new life is not an option.  It flows naturally from our forgiveness.

Which leads me back to the question (which comes first, the chicken or the egg?) does God forgive us because we forgave others?  Or do we forgive others because God forgives us?

What we can learn from Jesus’ parable and the rest of scripture, is that God forgives us and empowers us to forgive others.  But, if we are not actively trying and asking God to help us to forgive others, then how can we possibly say we have been forgiven by God and love Him (1 John 4:20)

Or to put it another way, forgiving others is a sign that we have been forgiven by God.  And any lack of forgiveness towards others is a sign that we have not experienced God’s forgiveness.

I apologize this is so long, but I believe we need to understand something here; forgiveness is always possible, but reconciliation is not.

As important as it is to note that Jesus calls us to forgive others, it doesn’t always mean that things will work out.  Simply look at Jesus’ life – we will not be on good terms with everyone, but we can still forgive everyone.

Paul reminds us in Romans 12:18 that we are to “live peaceable with all” but only “so far as it depends on you” recognizing that sometimes the issues we have with others are simply on their end and there is nothing we can do about it.

This doesn’t give us freedom to write someone off as a lost cause, as we are called to love generously and especially those who hate us, but we also shouldn’t bear the weight of a two-way relationship all on ourselves.

We can forgive and still not receive reconciliation between ourselves and the other person if they refuse.

Although we talk about our empowerment coming from God, we often hinder ourselves to only self-help methods and motivational talks which is the exact opposite of “empowered by God”. Not only does self-help and self-motivation only last temporarily, but God also tells us that nothing we do can be pleasing to Him without our actions coming out of our faith in Him (Hebrews 11:6).  If our motivation is one of self-attainment and simply doing better, we’ve completely missed the point.

In regard to forgiveness, I have heard people encouraged to think about how much God loves the person you ought to forgive and if that God can forgive them, then so should you.  But this is nothing more than hype and motivational talk, and not found in scripture.

Of course, God loves them, He’s perfect.  But how does that help me to love them?

Here is what the Bible tells us to do:  Instead of focusing on the people you ought to forgive, you need to focus on the God who has forgiven you.  Scripture tells us that our forgiveness does not come from seeing God forgive others, but as an overflow of God forgiving us.

When God forgive us, He doesn’t simply wipe the slate clean and then tell us to try harder; He gives us His spirit to teach us and help us (John 14:26), to encourage us (Acts 9:31) and empower us to follow Jesus (2 Timothy 1:7).

The Holy Spirit is God’s gift to all believers when we are saved!  And it is through Him that we become more like Jesus – including our growth in forgiving others (Acts 2:38).

Do you need to forgive someone?  Do it now.

Do you need to ask someone for forgiveness from?  Go ask for forgiveness.  Do your best to bring reconciliation, as much as it depends on you.

Forgive
Repent.
Love others like Jesus.

Have an amazing summer as we rest from writing,
Lisa