“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV
This past year has been a year of tremendous challenge for me. I have had to really examine my heart and admit to myself a stronghold of weakness. I have had to admit to and ask God for forgiveness. My realization and admission: I am vain. I have put way too much of my self worth in my outward appearance. Circumstances, however, have challenged me to come to terms with my vanity and deal with it. This year I have had to undergo treatment for a non-healing lesion on the very tip of my nose. Although the biopsy was a comfort because it ruled out cancer, the results were still concerning to my doctor because I had a thick growth of pre-cancer cells that could potentially convert to cancer. This year I have been through freezing of the lesion and 3 rounds of using chemo ointment to kill off the abnormal cells. Because I work in a public capacity, I have had to wear a mask or bandaid to cover my nose. This has gone on for so long that I often forget unless someone asks me “ What happened to your nose.?” Although I wish I had not had to deal with this, a part of me is grateful because God has helped me to put more value on my inner worth and less on my outer.
God tells us in the Bible that He doesn’t want us to put our identity in anything other than Him. When we interact with others, He wants the focus of others to be on the beauty of our spirit and not the adornments of our outer appearance. When I walk into a hospital room to care for a patient at work, I have learned to not be so concerned about my appearance. I don’t represent myself, I represent Christ and His service to others. And you know, people respond positively to genuine love, kindness, and concern. They respond to the love of Christ.
Every role we have in life is an opportunity to serve and shine for Jesus. We never know how God can use us to positively impact others. The verse that I chose actually comes from a passage in the Bible talking about husbands and wives. When a wife’s inner beauty touches the heart of her unbelieving husband, it provides an opportunity for him to see Christ reflected in her character. “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”1 Peter 3:1-2
Wow, that’s powerful! I am grateful and blessed to be married to a believing husband and God has loved on me through him. No matter what changes to my outer appearance have occurred over the many years we’ve been together, I always feel that his love for me is rooted in his love for who I am as a person and not on my looks. It has been so helpful to have that kind of acceptance. That’s how God loves us and how he wants us to love each other. Who knows what seeds we may plant in the heart of a non-believer when the beauty of God's love is expressed through our love for others.
Self-image is important on many levels. God desires for us to have a healthy self-image. It’s self-defeating, however, to build your self worth on what is perishable and fleeting. If you choose to do so, you will struggle with anxieties, obsessions, disappointments and fears. When you focus, instead, on the beauty of Christ changing you from the inside, you will find the opposite occurs. God will strengthen and encourage you and reveal to you a lasting acceptance that never fades away.
“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” 2 Cor 4:16
I hope my story is encouraging to someone struggling with embarrassment or social anxieties that come from concern about outward appearance. I would love to know your experiences too.
Other verses to explore.