Dealing with Anger - Listening and Doing {James 1:19-20}

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Read:  James 1:19-20

When we talk too much and listen too little, we communicate to others that we think our ideas are more important than theirs.  James wisely advises us to reverse this process.  Put a mental stopwatch on your conversation and keep track of how much you talk and how much you listen.  When people talk with you, do they feel that their viewpoints and ideas have value?

These verses speak of anger that erupts when our egos are bruised.  “I AM HURT.”  “My opinions are not being heard!”  Now when injustice and sin occur, we should become angry because others are being hurt.  But we should not become angry when we fail to win an argument or when we feel offended or neglected.  Selfish anger never helps anybody.

 

I recently heard a phrase and it has been nailed to my head and heart.  Most days I run errands during my lunch hour, but I always have Moody Radio on in my car and I try to listen to the program that’s on, but I am driving and concentrating on getting to and from my destination.  However, every now and then, I catch something, and this was it –

“We have to learn to love them more

than we hate what they do.”

Do you ever find yourself in the situation that you are giving advice?  It’s good advice.  And the person you’ve been speaking to does the exact opposite?  Or their opinion does not align with yours?  And you walk away, or hang up the phone, or close the email or text and find yourself angry.  Maybe you are hurt because what you told them would save them from the activity or situation they are in. 

I’ve been there.  I have thought ‘but I don’t think my ideas are bad’  -- ‘ they just don’t listen.’  And the more I whine about how this person just won’t listen to me, the angrier I become.

It is really verse 21 that drove the phrase I heard home for me. 

“Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.”  (James 1:21)

“Humbly accept the word planted in you.”  It’s important to listen to what God’s word says, but it is much more important to obey it, and DO what it says.  We can measure the effectiveness of our Bible study time by the effect it has on our behavior and attitudes.  Do you put into action what you have studied?  Or do you get up from your corner where you spend your time alone with God and completely forget what God has said?

I truly hate to admit it, but I have.  No, not every day, but certain days when I was wanting to drive my point-of-view into someone, I seemed to toss all I had read out the window.

God wants all the glory.  I have to say, not me.  He will work all things out so He receives the glory, and me becoming angry or hurt because someone doesn’t “do” or react to my words really showed me how weightless my words are.  But God’s words – they are strong and when we use them or pray that God’s word would change the person's actions or decisions, then God gets the all the glory.

I am reminded of the time the disciples tried to drive out the demon in the boy (Mark 9), and they asked “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”  And Jesus replies, “This kind can come out only by prayer.”  (v. 9:21)

Prayer is the key that unlocks faith in our lives.  So when you find yourself frustrated or angry that someone is not listening to you, stop talking to them and trying to convince them of your idea, and pray.

I have come to realize that what has gotten me angry most of the time is when someone I love is stuck in sin.  Below are ways to pray when someone you love is stuck in sin.  I have these printed on notecards and I open them up and read and pray them while I am at my desk at work.  It has altered how and when I get angry.

Pray for them to see their sin as God sees it.  Isaiah 59:2

Pray for their hard heart to soften.  Ezekiel 36:26

Pray for them to recognize the kindness of God.  Romans 2:4

Pray for them to have a desire for God’s word.  Matthew 4:4

Pray for God’s Word to do surgery in their heart.  Hebrews 4:12

Pray for the consequences of their sin to become clear to them.  Psalm 51:3-4

Pray for them to be surrounded by people who will speak truth into their life.  James 5:19-20

Pray for them to recognize that only God can satisfy their deepest needs.  Psalm 107:9

Pray for them to know how much God loves them.  Ephesians 3:17-19

Pray for them to repent.  Matthew 3:2