We
live ordinary lives, but we are on an extraordinary mission. As a parent, we have a lot on our shoulders
and children should never be thought of as a nice addition to our lives. They are a blessing from God and they are
only in our lives for a moment.
To
my children: I want to apologize for not
teaching you to value God. Please
forgive me. I cannot change your life,
but I plead with you to fear God and put Him first in your life.
I
have not been a perfect, God-fearing parent.
I haven’t always placed God first in my life. I have struggled with who I am and whose I am
and didn’t find the truth for a long time.
I have struggled with guilt and shame for the majority of my life for
not following the “right” way, but praise the Lord, His grace and mercy are
great and He leads me on the path of righteousness.
Deuteronomy
6 is the best parenting handbook we can find and you can now toss out all the
other parenting books you received when your children were born and settle down
here and take notes.
We
are to teach our children the truth about God.
“Hear O Israel. The LORD is our
God, the Lord alone.” (6:4). There is only one God and He has revealed
Himself to us. We cannot make Him up to
be whatever we want Him to be. It seems
every generation wants to redefine God in a way they think is appropriate for
them. There’s always something about Him
they want to change. And so I ask you,
does that offend you? Do His
commandments seem to narrow for you?
We
are to teach our children to love God. “And
you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all
your strength.” (6:5). We are to teach our children to
delight in nothing more than God. Not
money, fame , us – nothing.
We
are to teach our children to trust God. “Then
you must tell them, ‘We were Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt, but the LORD brought us
out of Egypt with amazing power. Before
our eyes the LORD did miraculous signs and wonders, dealing terrifying blows
against Egypt and Pharaoh and all his people.
He brought us out of Egypt so He could give us this land He had solemnly
promised to give our ancestors.”
(6:21-23). We need to
teach our children that God is trustworthy and that He keeps His promises.
We
are to teach our children to fear God. “And
the LORD our God commanded us to obey all these laws and to fear Him for our
own prosperity and well-being, as is now the case.” (6:24).
This is not a fear like a scary monster, but it’s how we
recognize how essential God is for our own good (…for our own prosperity and well-being…). We need to teach our children to recognize
the value of God in our lives and to take precaution to not do anything to
break or damage it.
We
are to teach our children the gospel. “In
the future your children will ask you, ‘What is the meaning of these
stipulations, laws, and regulations that the LORD our God has given us?”
(6:20-21) We are to teach our
children that we obey God because He has given Himself to us. This is how we learn to love and trust and
value Him. When we see His part in our
lives is for our good, we learn to fear Him in the right way. Our children’s relationship with God is our
primary responsibility. Their
relationship with us is secondary.
How
do we teach these things? One way is
through deliberate saturation. “Repeat
them again and again to your children.
Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey,
when you are lying down and when you are getting up again. Tie them to your hands as a reminder, and
wear them on your forehead. Write them
on the door posts of your house and on your gate.” (6:7-9) I want to share some points I discovered
while I researched this; the average child spends 25 minutes per week with
their dad; 25 hours in front of the TV; and 50 hours at school, and many
times that is in a public school where the educators may or may not fear
God. In other words, take responsibility
for what your kids are learning. We need
to mark our homes as God’s territory.
You can do that by listening to Christian music and messages while your
children are home with you or when you are riding in the car. Pay attention to the TV and movies, and video
games they are playing. Use
opportunities wisely. Did you know that
less than 10% of the population reads the bible with their kids or participate
in bible study?
Another
way is to prioritize God’s community. I
know many parents want their kids to be involved in extracurricular activities
because they believe it will help them get into college. But don’t you care more about where your kid
will spend eternity than where they go to college? Remember, they will look like their
community. So you, as their parent, must
arrange their priorities and make God the center of their lives.
The
second way we can teach our children is through first-hand testimony. ““In the future your children will ask you, ‘What
is the meaning of these stipulations, laws, and regulations that the LORD our God
has given us? Then you must tell them, ‘We were Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt, but
the LORD brought us out of Egypt with amazing power. Before our eyes the LORD did miraculous signs
and wonders, dealing terrifying blows against Egypt and Pharaoh and all his
people. He brought us out of Egypt so He
could give us this land He had solemnly promised to give our ancestors.” (6:20-23).
When your children ask you, you need to tell them of your
experiences – there is no substitute for first-hand testimony. What matters to you, will matter to your
children. What you love – they will learn
to love. If you delight in God, then they
will. If you make God your most valuable
possession, they will learn that.
Your
children will see how excited you get when you get a new car, than what we do
about ministry. They will see how
excited you get for a vacation than for people coming to Christ. They will see how easily you skip church and
God’s community. They see how little we
do in ministry. They see what we
love. If we don’t delight in God, they
won’t delight in Him either.
Do
you kids know that you delight in God?
That you see Him as more desirable than any other thing? Do they see you seek Him on a day-by-day
basis? Do they hear you talk about
Him? Do you demonstrate a first-hand
fear of God? A respect and awe of God
that’s shown in how you obey? Do you
present yourself consistently as under His authority? Do you confess your sins to your
children? Showing them that you are not
God. And that you are just like them –
we are both under the authority of God.
Can you tell stories about how you trust God? The ways that He has provided for you? Your kids can see that. They will become what you are.
I
began this post with an apology to my children because I was not the example I
wish I could have been. I knew I wanted
my children to grow up in a Christian environment and I chose to send them to a
Christian school. My public school
upbringing simply left me with too many questions and led me into a lot of
trouble. Their education challenged me
over and over because I was not equipped with biblical answers. I felt like I learned right alongside of
them. And it was tough. The pull of the world was always tugging at
me, yet I wanted to see God through child-like eyes. Over and over I prayed and the scales slowly
fell from my eyes.
Our
children are fighting for their lives and despite our lack of godly knowledge,
we can begin today to teach and encourage them to be godly children and swim
upstream and go against the flow of society and follow Jesus.
We
have to remember that we are all on this journey, and we are at different
phases/places of this journey. Please
don’t get discouraged with why your child(ren) aren’t understanding God’s
ways. He’s working in them just as He’s
working in you. Be the Christ-like
example of love and mercy, and He will give you grace.